The Best Museum In The Entire World. Period.

About two months ago I had the uniquely distinct pleasure of visiting the very best museum in the world. Period.  Turns out that my dad just found the pictures that I thought I had permanently deleted and been seriously beating myself up over which turned out to still be on the camera's hard drive the whole time and now I feel like an idiot but at least now I can finally blog about this ridiculously insane trip.  And with that, I give you...

The Intellectual Museum.  Ulanbaatar, Mongolia.

The Intellectual Museum is a three story converted apartment building which houses puzzles.  Like, a shit ton of puzzles.  We are fairly certain that our guide had exceptional English skills.  Only fairly certain because mostly she continuously pointed at things like a table or a doorway saying: "And THIS is a puzzle, and THIS is a puzzle, and THIS is a puzzle!"  You will be shocked to learn that the WHOLE BUILDING was a puzzle, according to our guide.  

Once we left the puzzle floor, we found the "games and other toys" floors.  That was when things got really crazy.

Before we get too involved here, let me explain that there are a few non-negotiable rules of the Intellectual Museum.  First, one must not wear shoes, one must wear booties at all times.  We don't know why. Second, one must never take any pictures of anything, at any time.  Third, you may never touch the puzzles for any reason (an astoundingly frustrating rule for a museum full of toys!).

  

I understand how rule #2 came into being: the Intellectual Museum is fucking insane and everyone will want to take pictures (the Mongolians claim that the no picture rule is to keep their puzzles secret  - from the notorious Mongolian puzzle spies, I assume).  Well, considering that I pretty much never plan to return to Mongolia, I decided to break rule #2 and brought all my students down with me.  We used each other to hide our cameras from our guide.  Oh, we took some pictures. 

"The Life has a full of Happiness if family is peaceful serene."

To this day, I am unsure of the requisites required of a piece in order to be displayed in the Intellectual Museum.  It appears that the museum will display any toy or game that was ever created.  There is no rhyme or reason to it.  There were everyday Barbie dolls on display (arms optional), a Little Mermaid pillow-book, pins, velcro games, stuffed animals - my God, were there stuffed animals.  Anything that can be purchased at Walmart or made in a sweatshop can make it behind glass at the Intellectual Museum.  

Luke, my student, to our guide: "Can you tell me what the theme of this display case is? I'm stumped by the dolls, dinosaurs, disposable cameras and the Michael Jackson masks." 

Guide: "Yes, it is showing some toys and also the evolution of film technology."

Our tour of the Intellectual Museum ended about as well as I could have dreamed.  Turns out a large, angry soviet woman had been watching us taking illegal pictures on their hidden cameras.  And then we were kicked out of the gift shop (the only place you get to touch the puzzles!) and asked to leave. 

I miss you, Intellectual Museum.  Never change.