Last week, I wrapped up my 5th year of teaching. I've spent all those years at the same school where I started my teaching career, and in the subject area that Teach for America tapped me to teach - special education.
I knew right away when I got the job that something special was happening at Aurora West College Prep Academy. I immediately became best friends with my co-teacher, Allison, who is still my partner in international crime. I was surrounded by a phenomenal staff of people who wanted me to succeed. But most of all, I fell in love with my students. And not in a mug shot/prison sentence kind of way. It's a unique relationship between a special education student and their case manager. As a special education teacher, you become so intimately involved in their victory laps and the mountains standing in their way. So I promised my crew of special education students from the class of 2014 that I would stay with them until they graduated. And guess what, we did!
But, sadly, not all of them. Ricardo, a sacrificial lamb, dropped out of school just two weeks after I posted our story on this forum. I haven't seen him since. I couldn't force him to fight. I often think that I failed him. Or maybe he failed himself, while I watched.
In my professional opinion, some students come to school only to give their teachers headaches. And Alan was the president of that club. He was rude, he was loud, he was silly during silent reading, he ditched, he lied. But, alas, he was completely lovable, loyal and, most importantly, he was my responsibility for the past 5 years. And believe you me, he really messed up - he had to recover so many credits through an online school that he didn't get to walk at graduation.
During the final week of school, Alan asked me to come watch his presentation in another class. So I did, and I will never, ever forget it. The presentation was of an essay that he wrote looking back on his high school journey. He teared up when he read it aloud to the class. I tear up now.
He's not a literary genius, and he won't pass the Writing SAT II - but I think he gets his point across just fine. Here is his final essay (posted with permission).
Prompt: Looking back, what
have you learned from high school?
When I started high
school, I was an annoying little BRAT. I would always give teachers a hard
time. (make them white hairs come out :) ) in four years NOTHING has really
changed.
When I was on my
way to 9th grade, I felt like the happiest little kid. I felt like a ‘big
boy’. The friends I had, oh my, let me tell you they were crazy and bad just
like me. That’s probably why I’m the way I am today because all
throughout high school I’ve acted like a little kid, like all my other
friends. My teachers in high school were ALL mean!! But now I see the message
they were trying to give me and why they were that way with me! I can’t be
acting like a little kid throughout my life, it will get me no where. My
teachers pushed me to my limits. Sometimes those limits were good because I
really got my work done but sometimes I just couldn’t handle all the stress.
I would talk back and always give my teachers a hard time because that was
like my little break. But now I realize what they were trying to do.
When I was on my
way to 10th grade, still NOTHING had changed. Why? Because I wasn’t realizing
what I was getting myself into for senior year. I kept slacking. I wouldn’t
do my work during class and sometimes I would not even go to class. I was so
bad that I wish I could go back and fix those moments because right now it is
really hard. I might be sounding like a little bitch but all I’m saying right
now is how my high school years were like. In 10th grade I kind of started
stressing on what I would do after high school, I started making plans but
those plans were just DREAMS.
I know in reality
I'm not gonna get anywhere and that’s the truth! And you know why I say this?
Because I have been stalked throughout high school. yeah I’ve had a lot of
help by this amazing teacher her name is Ms. Broyles, she has been my
little stalker! let me tell you that having a stalker isn’t cool, but she has been there for me. Every time I’m failing class she’s always gotten me back to my feet! she’s like my soldier she is always watching my back. I am proud to
have her as my little stalker but all the help she has given me I haven’t
taken advantage of it because like I’ve said I slacked all the time! Emily
just wants to see me successful, every single teacher does. But I know ONE
DAY she will be proud of me. like one of my favorite people in the
school said “remember the choices you make today, shape your world tomorrow.”
Now as a senior it’s
very hard! why because all the classes that I failed I’m making them up. I
had the chance to make them up during summer school but I didn’t, I didn’t
realize how much it was gonna affect me. Now that I’m in a big o rush to
finish my online classes it is stressful! I’m doing 4 classes of English
right now and I have 2 days to finish them. I am gonna finish them? YES,
nothing in the world is impossible. I can’t let me class of 2014 down, my
family, and my friends but the most important I have to do this for me!
What I learned
throughout high school is that you can’t be acting like a little kid anymore
you're turning into a young adult. The advice I give to freshmen, sophomores,
juniors is to do the work even if it’s boring do the work trust me, yeah you
might think that you have it under control but trust me you don’t, that’s
what I told myself and now I’m in the worse place. I have talked to myself
asking why I can’t be smart or just to be a better student I promised myself
things, but know it’s too late to make my promises real. If only I had the
chance to go back and fix my behavior, I wouldn’t think about it twice!
I never wanted this, but I have to pay the price. I wasn’t the best student here at AWCPA, but I wish I was! |
Alan finished his credits and graduated yesterday. It was just the two of us there in the office to celebrate. One stalker, one high school graduate.
Yes, you've made me proud, Alan.
