Things I've Discovered This Weekend

Ah, the weekend.  A time for deep sleep, laundry, and that phantom third cocktail.  And while this weekend was not particularly particular, I found myself making little discoveries whilst I ran around my traditional weekend duties.  Please, allow me to enumerate them. 

1.  Upon the need to call myself from my parents' cell phone, I made this discovery about my standings in their speed dial:

Not only do I rank lower than their son-in-law, their business line, and my 85 year-old grandmother - but I rank lower than their own home phone line.  Thanks Mom & Dad.  Love, your second born. 

2.  Dog breed enthusiasts understand that Rhodesian Ridgebacks were bred to hunt lions in Africa.  Actually, this is a half-truth.  Rhodesian Ridgebacks were bred to keep the lions at bay until the humans could catch up to kill them.  I have recently discovered this highly enjoyable behavior in Bear.  I always thought that his choice to bark at any suspicious person walking through our courtyard (and by suspicious I, of course, mean any person wearing a hat, carrying something, or a child between the ages of 5 and 7) was out of complete fear for himself.  I've come to realize that he was actually chasing and keeping these "threats" at bay for me!  I cracked the code once I noticed that he would not stop barking or incisively circling the people once they left our "territory".  He, in fact, was so kind as to adios those people ALL THE WAY to their front door.  Which may or may not have been on the other side of the apartment complex. I mean, he is so thoughtful to me - and here I am, not having killed a single one of the scary children he's kept at bay for me. 

He might look adorbs, but just know that he will kindly escort you to Kansas if you dare to carry a box through his territory after dark. 

3. On Saturday I discovered that I am able to clean my entire apartment during a single phone conversation with Allison K. Peterson.  Including sweeping, moping and vacuuming.  Which is impressive if you take note of how fast and intricate Allison's stories are. 

4.  Nick Dunne lies.  A lot.  Discovery of the week. 

5. Also, Amy Elliott Dunne lies.  A lot. 

6. My orchid is alive!  For the past 8 months, ever since Antoinette and Mike gave her to me as a birthday gift, I have been religiously feeding this orchid four ice cubes a week (every Monday during The Bachelor).  In response, my orchid has fastidiously ignored me.  But I never, ever gave up on our love.  This weekend, I discovered that my orchid has blossomed new leaves!!!  [Insert inspirational message of plants as metaphors, the importance of patience, and never giving up on your(plant)self].  I wish that I had Hannah Lesley's camera skills for this one:

7.  Most importantly, I have discovered that I kind of really really really love weekends full of outdoor athletic events, courtyard girl talk, doggie dates, early nights in with a book, and lots and lots of rest.  

Now, bring on the insane school children.

RainyGrass

Friends, it is with great pleasure that I inform you that Colorado is experiencing quite the rainy summer.  Considering that last summer I experienced the unique hell of sleeping in a top floor apartment without air conditioning, I am currently relishing the more moderate summer days and dramatic afternoon thunderstorms.

And while I am a self-confessed rain enthusiast, I was not at all pleased to have the rain join us on the one sacred day on the Broyles Family Calendar: RockyGrass.  RockyGrass is a yearly bluegrass festival that has come to be one of my favorite family traditions.  Every year the Broyles Family & Friends spend the day soaking up the sun, participating in some very intense card playing, forcibly dunking each other in the river, and swaying in time to the fiddle and the banjo.  This summer our picnic blanket was shared by 18 people, our friends and family alike.  It was scheduled to be my favorite day of the summer...but you know what they say about scheduling fun.  Don't do it. 

When the rain started, there was a common refrain from the thousands of people present: "Don't worry, this is Colorado.  It never rains for more than 15 minutes at a time."

Five hours into the non-stop rain, there was another common refrain from the crowd: "How would you guys feel if we left a little early?" 

But don't worry, we got creative.  And when that didn't work, we got more beers. 

Some people came more prepared than others.  Say, for example, this lady with a paper umbrella:

RockyGrass 2013 was the most special to date because my cousin Adam's very popular band, Head For The Hills was playing the main stage this year!  We got to watch their set from the VIP area.  You know, because we are all very important people. 

Luckily, the weather pulled itself together after lunch and we were able to frolic in the sun - as promised. 

Upon deep personal reflection, I am very proud that I managed to escape the crazy woman who normally chases me down the river with a giant stick (my sister), and that when I shamefully lost at cards this year, I did not hit or kick anyone, as I always assumed I would (I've, like, never lost)(I'm inappropriately competitive at cards)(I think I got that from my grandmother).

Alright, alright, RainyGrass.  You had your fun with us this year.  However, we Broyleses & Friends take summer bluegrass festivals very seriously and I would like to formally request river tubing and tan lines for 2014.  Oh, and bring back Head For The Hills.  Thanks.