Take Me Out To The [Opening Weekend] Ballgame!

This weekend is the opening weekend for the Colorado Rockies, and last night was Denver Public Schools night.  As a dedicated lover of baseball and public education, I elected to go with my girl friends. 

I knew immediately that I had to make some big decisions.  It was Saturday night.  I wanted to enjoy an adult beverage during the game.  I did not want to purchase a $9 Coors Field margarita - which consists of 90% sugary mix and 10% alcohol. So I knew - I needed to BYOB. 

But how to sneak in my alcohol?  Coors Field takes these things very seriously.  So I asked myself the same thing anyone would in this situation: What would Susan Broyles do?  My mother taught me from a young age that it is possible to sneak your own wine into concerts if you pour it into Tupperware and pretend it's soup. That's when it hit me.  What do they never check when you enter Coors Field?  Your food.

So, I snuck in 5 shooters of Smirnoff vokda in the shape of a Chiptole burrito.  In a Chipotle bag.  Dressed in foil.  The ticket-taker even commented that it was such a smart idea to bring in my own food (which is allowed, BTW).

And yes, I did notice later on that my high school gym teacher was sitting directly behind us (it was DPS night after all) and had watched my whole scam. Part of me worried about getting detention again from him. In the end, I'm sure he just appreciated the amount of effort and skill I still put into my work. 

I might not be an artist or a professional writer, but you can't say that creativity isn't alive and well in my veins.

Springtime in DC

This year I elected to make my annual trip to Washington, DC in the springtime, instead of over Fall Break.  I just really wanted the chance to wear cute spring clothes and heels...which didn't entire work out for me (damn you, rain!)  It was the first of many wonderful decisions I made - or that were made on my behalf - throughout the trip.  Some of these included:

*Buying Marek this awesome Nuggets hat for his birthday...and realizing that it goes perfectly with his 12-year-old semi-gross vans. 

*Exploring Eastern Market during Emily & Ian's 2nd Annual Day of Best Friendship.  We wore matching friendship bracelets and stuff.  

 *Sight-seeing at sunset. 

We waved at all the people who lined up on Friday to get into the oral arguments for the gay marriage case - which didn't happen until the following Tuesday.  These people slept outside the Supreme Court for 4 days in the rain!

 *Inviting some college friends to watch Marek bartend. Oh hey, Jessica Nagro!

 *Enjoying some amazing hollandaise sauce at the Chesapeake Room. Even Justin came down from NYC!

*Exploring campus...during a rain storm. 

 *Jeff and I finding our bricks in the GWU quad.  I guess this makes it official!

  

*Visiting Marek and Ian's farm...in the middle of southeast DC.  I learned exactly what 1/1000th of an acre looks like.  It might not look like much now, guys, but just you wait until summer.  Parsnips for everyone!

*Skyping with Lil Marc in Taiwan.  I miss that adorable face!

*Seeing Alyssa again.  My life in Denver has been considerably less awesome since she left, and it was incredible to see her.  I introduced her to my grandparents, uncle, and some highlights of their current neighborhood. 

The peace and beauty of Arlington Cemetery overwhelm me each time I visit.  What an honor to have my family laid to rest there. 

DC is always a challenging trip for me, emotionally.  I get caught up in the former college version of myself, and sometimes I even cry unnecessarily over random things (am I right, Jeff?).  I miss the city, the culture, and the friends there that still hold my heart.  Leaving DC sucks, to be blunt.  But at least I know that there is always so much waiting for me to enjoy next time. 

Here's to the best DC trip that I probably have ever had!

And It Was Good

Every year, I pull out all the stops and observe Lent with a fierceness that shocks those around me.  I do this partially for the religious education, but primarily as an exercise in self control and temptation. 

And let me tell you, this year has been one of temptation.  This year I decided to give up all sweets.  Yes, I have not tasted anything sweet since February 13th (39 days ago, but who's counting?). And it may sound like a trivial thing, but when you already exist on a gluten and dairy free diet, dessert is pretty much the only joy left in the world. And as much as I love meat and vegetables, I am about ready to stab my eyes out. 

I've had some mixed experiences with my Lenten sacrifices.  There was the year that I gave up desserts, but convinced myself that Fig Newtons were a fruit-based health food, so I ate half a box of Fig Newtons a day.  Or last year, when I only gave up chocolate and became dependent on Swedish Fish (am I right, Lindsey?). Or my senior year of college when I gave up alcohol, and well...I cried myself to sleep.  I am proud to say that I've done a pretty good job this year!

It's been a struggle. I'm pretty sure God has been testing me.  Like when he put the school group of 80 middle schoolers on both of my flights to DC (with departure gates next to a Ben and Jerry's).  Or when he sent me to three consecutive birthday parties with dark chocolate birthday cakes. Thanks, God!

As I was listening to the cathedral choir chant the passion of Christ exquisitely today, I was reminded why I do this to myself every year.  There is no deeper joy than receiving once again that which you have sorely missed.  To see again a person/lost dog/childhood toy/favorite sweater/car key/cell phone/$20 bill that you thought you would never lay eyes on again.  To find hope when you had no hope.  

At 12:01am on Sunday I will take a bite of Cold Stone cake batter ice cream with sprinkles and hot fudge.  If you aren't doing anything at the time, you should come join me.  

If you've never seen a full grown woman cry over ice cream, it's really something. 

May Easter Day bring you deep and delirious happiness as well. 

I'm Mexican

As a high school teacher, there is nothing scarier than getting a hair cut.  It's like walking into an episode of Fashion Police - everyone has feedback.  

Well, I did it! I got a major hair cut and the reviews are in:

"Miss, now you look like a Mexican!"

"Wow, you look like a car salesman.  But like for the really fancy cars."

"Miss, you should go sell houses now."

"Ooooooo, Miss, when your ex-boyfriend sees you he is going to need some kleenex and ice cream."

I guess I did alright!

(I don't have a pic of the hair cut, but this is pretty much what I look like...)

Happy Wednesday!

I've Been Robbed!

 If I had known what would happen, I'm not sure that I'd have taken last Friday off...

wait, who am I kidding...that's a lie. 

Well, it turns out that 8th graders who have two months left until they go to high school make some bad behavior decisions.  Last Friday my 8th graders decided to steal snacks out of the teacher cabinet.  The little shits robbed me! Yes, it is only food, but they were sneaky little jerks about the whole thing and I got super pissed.  This group of students (my only middle school class, thank God) takes the prize for my least favorite people at the moment.  But an honorable mention goes out to the substitute who sat back and allowed five 13-year-olds to chow down on 20 bags of chips. Nice work, sir. 

These little cherubs also decided to lie to my face, then change their stories, then lie to my face again.  After many lectures about trust, some "snitching" sessions, several written self reflections, and two rounds of group therapy with the Dean of Students (no joke) I still don't know exactly what happened.  So, if you see smoke coming out of my ears, it is probably because I'm thinking about 4th period...and their terrible, terrible grammar. 

I give you:

The student who thinks he is only in trouble because he didn't do the word search.

The student who was doing so good until he suddenly ripped his book apart. 

 Then recanted 24 hours later and isn't quite so innocent. 

The reformed thief.

And the student who thinks I'm going to send him to jail. 

Good luck in high school, guys.

Farewell, Mr. Orange

Today was supposed to be Mr. Orange's last day.  However, I found this on his desk upon my arrival this morning:

I mean, I have no words.  He couldn't even fulfill his commitment through his final day.  

My favorite part isn't even that he got the date wrong, or that my grandmother could write better sub plans than this.  

It's that he felt the need to Scotch tape this paper to his desk on all four sides.  

Because, as we all know, people are out to steal his lesson plans. 

Farewell, Mr. Orange.  May you find a new profession far, far away from education. 

ATTN: Single Men

Oh hey there, single men.  Are you single because you are bad at dating?  Don't worry, I got your back.  Or more precisely, a middle schooler has your back.  

Here are some timeless tips from the inner workings of a 13-year-old boy's mind:

It's not rocket science, guys.