Freak.

Every person has quirks - things that they do or care about that others may find unusual.  A few weeks ago I decided to look at my life and decipher what my quirks are.  This was actually pretty challenging because, obviously, to me these things all seem normal.  However, what I found made me wonder if I am indeed "quirky", or in fact a verifiable Freak. 

1. I have to lotion my feet in bed, or else I can't fall asleep. 

2. I have to completely get off my bike every.single.time.I.stop.  I only know how to start my bike from a run; I can't do it stationary.  Panic ensues when I try.

3. I can only turn off my treadmill when the time, calorie count, and mileage are all simultaneously a divisible of 3.  

4. Whenever my eyes are idle, they pick up on a word that is visible at that moment (street signs, book titles, vocabulary words).  I then mentally rearrange the letters so that the word becomes a palindrome pattern of vowels and consonants.  Meaning that the word must have the same pattern of vowels and consonants forwards and backwards.  I do this so frequently that I can rearrange multi-syllabic words in my head in seconds. 

5. I hit myself every.single.time I see a Volkswagen Beetle.  (I also say "slug bug, no hit backs" - although no one is there to hear me, hit me back or, really, to compete with me to see them first).  There are 2 Beetles in my neighborhood, so I pretty much punch myself all the time.  However, I would never dare to slug bug another person - how childish!

6. I have a secret t-shirt obsession.  I get very, very stressed out when I attend an event that provides event t-shirts because I want one (in my size) so badly.  Sometimes I will call ahead and make up a lie to get my t-shirt in advance.  I will sneak out of the event and stand in the hallway to be the first in line for t-shirts.  The best part of this obsession is that I never, ever wear the t-shirts.  That t-shirt is a memento and wearing it will ruin it!

I've known for a while that the t-shirt obsession was starting to get out of control.  I have never-worn t-shirts crammed into every drawer and closet in my apartment.  So, today I decided to lay them all out and see what I've collected.  I expected to find maybe 30ish t-shirts.  I was wrong. 

There are 86 in total. 

I have my Africa t-shirts:

My college t-shirts:

My race t-shirts:

My high school t-shirts (go Patriots - crush the East Angels!):

My Teach For America t-shirts:

My Aurora West t-shirts:

Not to mention the randoms that don't even fit into a category!

Right now I feel like a super Freak.  Who keeps so many t-shirts and never wears them?  Do I need t-shirt therapy? 

Yet, there is something amazing happening here as well.  Here, on my bed and my floor is a memory of every single thing I've ever been proud of.  It's my whole life sized small in cotton and ink.

I know that I can't keep going like this, I need to make room for new memories and new events in my life.  I discussed this conundrum at my recent church happy hour, and a friend recommended that I turn all of these t-shirts into a quilt.  And while the idea of cutting these guys up is giving my a mild heart attack, I think that might just be the perfect solution.  All I need now is to learn how to quilt!

What I'm thinking is that life is not about hiding or changing your idiosyncrasies.  It's about accepting yourself for the Freak you are, and figuring out ways to not be held back by your idiosyncrasies.  I'm a OCD t-shirt collecting, vowel palindroming, divisible of 3-running, slug bug self-slugging Freak.  

But you better know that the t-shirts for my wedding and the births of all my children are going to be top notch!  Collectors' items, if you will.