Ah, the weekend. A time for deep sleep, laundry, and that phantom third cocktail. And while this weekend was not particularly particular, I found myself making little discoveries whilst I ran around my traditional weekend duties. Please, allow me to enumerate them.
1. Upon the need to call myself from my parents' cell phone, I made this discovery about my standings in their speed dial:
Not only do I rank lower than their son-in-law, their business line, and my 85 year-old grandmother - but I rank lower than their own home phone line. Thanks Mom & Dad. Love, your second born.
2. Dog breed enthusiasts understand that Rhodesian Ridgebacks were bred to hunt lions in Africa. Actually, this is a half-truth. Rhodesian Ridgebacks were bred to keep the lions at bay until the humans could catch up to kill them. I have recently discovered this highly enjoyable behavior in Bear. I always thought that his choice to bark at any suspicious person walking through our courtyard (and by suspicious I, of course, mean any person wearing a hat, carrying something, or a child between the ages of 5 and 7) was out of complete fear for himself. I've come to realize that he was actually chasing and keeping these "threats" at bay for me! I cracked the code once I noticed that he would not stop barking or incisively circling the people once they left our "territory". He, in fact, was so kind as to adios those people ALL THE WAY to their front door. Which may or may not have been on the other side of the apartment complex. I mean, he is so thoughtful to me - and here I am, not having killed a single one of the scary children he's kept at bay for me.
He might look adorbs, but just know that he will kindly escort you to Kansas if you dare to carry a box through his territory after dark.
3. On Saturday I discovered that I am able to clean my entire apartment during a single phone conversation with Allison K. Peterson. Including sweeping, moping and vacuuming. Which is impressive if you take note of how fast and intricate Allison's stories are.
4. Nick Dunne lies. A lot. Discovery of the week.
5. Also, Amy Elliott Dunne lies. A lot.
6. My orchid is alive! For the past 8 months, ever since Antoinette and Mike gave her to me as a birthday gift, I have been religiously feeding this orchid four ice cubes a week (every Monday during The Bachelor). In response, my orchid has fastidiously ignored me. But I never, ever gave up on our love. This weekend, I discovered that my orchid has blossomed new leaves!!! [Insert inspirational message of plants as metaphors, the importance of patience, and never giving up on your(plant)self]. I wish that I had Hannah Lesley's camera skills for this one:
7. Most importantly, I have discovered that I kind of really really really love weekends full of outdoor athletic events, courtyard girl talk, doggie dates, early nights in with a book, and lots and lots of rest.
Now, bring on the insane school children.
This entry had me when I realized your parents have "home" before "emily." And I am really sorry for my long, long stories. We need a polite code word so you can cut me off without offending me. Like a social training kind of thing.
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